We waited almost six years to get that magical call from our social worker. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She called while I was at work, and I sat down in our waiting room chair and cried while she proceeded to tell me that a birth mother had contacted her and wanted to meet for dinner the following week. The speed of this meeting was just what we imagined, except for the fact that she was only 19 weeks pregnant. That is not what we expected at all, remember, we thought we would have only weeks to prepare for baby. Now we would have months to prepare for a baby! But that also meant we would have months to get to know this woman who was carrying the baby that was going to be ours.

After the initial shock of not getting what we expected (a short pregnancy), we realized there is great beauty in the unexpected. We first met our son’s birth mom at an Olive Garden with our social worker. There we spent hours getting to know her, even after our social worker left. Then we spent the next 20 weeks getting to know her even more. Our families went to the zoo together. Our families waited in the waiting room while our son was born. Our families celebrated our son’s dedication for our church together. Our families have spent birthdays and Christmases together. Our families have spent weekends camping together.

When we expected a short pregnancy, we also expected a short relationship with our child’s birth family. We may have also been shortsighted at the time and only wanted what was best for US, not our child. I was even a little leery about the whole open adoption thing at first. I was scared she would want to make decisions for him. I was scared she would want to be more involved. And if I am being completely honest with you, I was scared she would want to take him away from us. All those things I was scared of, I embrace now. I call, text, email our son’s birth mom on a regular basis, asking for her opinion on this, that, or the next thing. I have cried out in frustration to her when I’m at my wits end with our child’s behavior. I have cried tears of joy with her when he has excelled at something.  

In fact, almost one year ago, I got the idea to start a blog about our open adoption journey. And much to my delight, she has joined forces with me on the blog, and we share in this parenting journey together. It wasn’t too long after I got to know her that I realized I didn’t just love the fact that she was going to give us a child. I loved her. And over the course of the last four years, she has become one of my dearest and closest friends. Not because she made me a mom, but because she has made me a better person in knowing her.

We didn’t just adopt our son, we adopted his whole birth family, and they adopted us.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

The post The Beauty of Adoption appeared first on Abortion Cons & Adoption Pros | Consequences, Consent.

1. Life Begins at Conception

Scientifically, an unborn baby has brain waves at seven weeks, a heartbeat at seven weeks, and can feel pain at 20 weeks.* Most abortions are at 7-20 weeks. My question is this: if a person is considered dead with no brain waves and no heartbeat, why isn’t he considered alive with a brainwave and a heartbeat??

*http://illinoisrighttolife.org/babies-feel-pain/

2. The Unborn Have Human Rights, Too.

The right to life also applies to the unborn. The founding fathers believed every man had the unalienable right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Why wouldn’t this apply to a fetus?

3. Fetuses ARE Children.

The word “fetus” simply means “child” in Latin. She is human. Just because the word is different doesn’t mean she is any less a child. Just because the fetus looks different, just because we can’t see the fetus, just because the fetus is in a different location, just because the fetus is in an early stage of development, doesn’t make the fetus any less of a child. If we were to take a DNA sample of a fetus, it would be determined that the fetus is, indeed, human. A person. Doesn’t she deserve to live?

4. Adoption Is a Beautiful Option.

The care for children doesn’t end when a child is born. Many people have chosen to adopt babies from women with crisis pregnancies. Adoption is the perfect alternative to abortion because it helps three people: 1) The pregnant woman who may be experiencing a crisis pregnancy; 2) the adoptive mom, who may be experiencing infertility and, of course, 3) the child. There are about one million parents waiting to adopt in the U.S. and over one million children who are aborted every year.  Wouldn’t adoption be the perfect choice? *

*https://crisispregnancy.com/abortion-alternatives-crisis-pregnancy/

5. Children Are a Blessing!

The vast majority of women who obtain abortions do so as a form of birth control. They do so with the belief that the child may interfere with their career or relationship. Children are a blessing. They teach us how to be selfless. They teach us how to love unconditionally.  They give us a new perspective on the world. They are gifts, not curses. They have a purpose. They are not mistakes. And they can be a joy, not a burden.

6. ALL Children Are a Blessing!

That’s not a typo. Just because a child may be born with a disability doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t deserve to live. “Quality of life” does not determine a child’s value. Kids with Down syndrome, cerebral palsy or other disabilities can lead a fulfilling, productive life. Who are we to say that simply because a doctor gives us a dire prognosis, that we can predict what type of life that person will lead?  

7. Parental Notification Is a Parental Right

Less than 1% of all abortions take place due to rape* or incest. Yet, a 12-year-old can get an abortion without her parent’s knowledge. Incest with a minor is a horrible crime and should be reported as such. But performing secret abortions for minor teens simply because she does not want her dad to know is wrong on so many levels. Doesn’t a parent, who has committed no crime, have a right to know what is going on with his or her child?

*http://illinoisrighttolife.org/about-us/statement-of-position/#position_rape

8. Sex Crimes Are Crimes 

Rape* and other sex crimes are illegal. Yet, many of these crimes go unreported at many abortion clinics. Sex crimes are wrong, and the answer is not abortion. The answer is holding the perpetrator accountable. Without notifying the authorities, the victim can continue to be perpetrated. Abortion for a sex crime victim creates two victims: the woman and the baby. What crime did the baby ever commit to deserve such a fate?

*http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/abortion/abreasons.html

9. Courts Should Not Legislate from the Bench. 

The Supreme Court is not infallible. They have been wrong before, and they were wrong in the case of Roe vs. Wade in 1973. For example, in 1857, in the landmark Dred Scott* case, the Supreme Court justified slavery, declaring that blacks were not “persons.” The same type of rhetoric is now used to justify abortion: that the unborn are not persons. They are not self-aware. That they are not sentient beings, and therefore, do not deserve to live. My question is the following: are they any more self-aware, the minute after they are born?  

*https://wallbuilders.com/black-history-issue-2003/

10. God Knows When Life Begins and Ends.

You don’t need to be “religious” to believe abortion is wrong. But, if you do believe in God, my question to you is if life doesn’t begin at conception, when does it start? And how do you know? Would God know?

The issue of abortion is really not about Democrat vs. Republican or liberal vs. conservative. It’s about life vs. death. It is an important decision that should not be made lightly because it is permanent and will be the most important choice of a person’s life.  

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

The post 10 Conservative Views of Abortion appeared first on Abortion Cons & Adoption Pros | Consequences, Consent.

When an unplanned pregnancy occurs, the first question often asked is, “What are you going to do?” This question typically implies the question, “Are you going to parent or are you going to terminate the pregnancy?” Why is adoption not implied in this scenario? What is it about adoption that makes it not a first choice when an unplanned pregnancy occurs? This question has a lot to do with the process of adoption and the unknowns that come with adoption.

Adoption is not often suggested as a response to unplanned pregnancy for three reasons:

1. Adoption means going through an entire pregnancy.

Unplanned pregnancies more often than not are also unwanted pregnancies. The issue here is not only the idea of parenting a child, but the turmoil that might result from going through a pregnancy. The mother would have to tell her family and friends about the pregnancy. She would have to go through all of the ins and outs of a pregnancy, including the medical inconveniences that might affect employment. Those that she would have to tell may have opinions on the topic that are unwanted. The mother may also not want the father to know she is pregnant. In essence, adoption would mean giving up nine months of her life and is not fathomable to some as a realistic option.

2. The idea of adoption can be heartbreaking.

Even if a pregnancy is not planned, the idea of placing a child once a mother has carried her for nine months can be heartbreaking. Many cannot fathom experiencing that bond, going through birth, and placing that child. Many do not suggest adoption because they cannot understand the ins and outs of adoption and the options for openness in adoption. Adoption can be heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. However, suggesting adoption as an option takes understanding the options adoption allows.

3. Many people simply do not know enough about adoption.

Adoption has become more accepted throughout the years, however there are still many misconceptions about adoption. People are often scared of the unknowns in adoption. People do not suggest the adoption option because they often do not know anyone who has made that choice. Many have only seen adoption portrayed in the media, which is often in a tragic manner. Parenting is something we see every day. Abortion is a very straightforward result and is an option with consequences that are “out of sight, out of mind.” Adoption would be more often suggested if the population were more educated on all that adoption can be.

Written by Lita Jordan

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

For continued guidance regarding your unexpected pregnancy, visit Adoption.com.

The post 3 Reasons People Don’t Suggest Adoption As A Response To Unplanned Pregnancy appeared first on Abortion Cons & Adoption Pros | Consequences, Consent.